Monday, October 24, 2016

Anticipating the jump...

The single hallmark of riding horses is jumping high and fast.  I know there's other stuff people do like depressage and grooming, but honestly that's for people with ADHD.  It's all about showing off brute strength and aerodynamics.  This strangely fuzzy black horse I found on the Google surely knows it:

(Look at him soar through that standard!)

So I began doing some more the Google searches to study how other riders get the most out of their jumps.  What I can observe is a culmination of subtle but necessary posture developments.  It's not the kind of thing that emerges overnight [challenge accepted] but takes years of careful training.  I guess that's why horse lessons cost money?  Anyway, see if you can also find what I saw in these photos that was so illuminating about the process of jumping.  (Hint: it's subtler than you'd think.)

(Look closely...)

(This one is obscured by angles)

(This horse is probably R. Kelly)

(LOL j/k this one is a poodle)

The answer is this: they're all leaning forward!  All those riders are like way over the horse's neck.  That's the secret!  To jump high and fast, you need to lean forward.  Try it.  I'm not at the jumping stage yet, but it's never to early to get started, right?  So for your edification, and in anticipation of one day jumping myself, I tried it out:

YES PEOPLE.  This is the look you want to go for when jumping.  Make sure your trainer knows.  (You can never be too sure if they've done extensive The Google searching like I have.)  Good luck on your next jumps!

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Sunday, October 16, 2016

List of horse names

Now that I'm a blogger in the horse world, I hope to someday actually ride a horse.  Haha psych! I totally rode a horse twice.

Eventually, I will have sixteen horses.  But like many of my human friends, horses tend to already come with names.  But with baby humans, you can choose their names.  And if you adopt humans, you can trade out their names for a better one, like Kathy.  Buying a horse is like adopting a human, so I'm going to list all the names that I'm considering for my lucky future horses.  But they have to be special names, for my special horses; people should know which are my special horses.  WHICH IS WHY YOU CAN'T STEAL MY NAMES.  So everything in this post is 2016 © Me. (I got some legal advice from my... self.)  I would however be willing to license any of the names herein.  Contact my legal advisor 4 deetz.

I'm going to interject a complaint here.  I accidentally deleted this entire post so far and had to rewrite it, and I liked it all better the first time. :'( :'( :'( Has this happened to anyone else out there?  I'm mildly devastated.   Do you hear me?? MILDLY!!!

Okay here's my list of awesome horse names:
  1. Cough Drops
  2. Dog Food
  3. Eggs
  4. Toothbrush
Wait I'm so sorry, that was my shopping list.  Let me find my horse names:
  1. Cough Drops
  2. Saladhorse
  3. Papercut
  4. Buckey
  5. Buddy Holly
  6. Chimichanga
  7. Sir Trips-a-Lot
  8. Alternating Current
  9. Squirrel
  10. Thoreau Bread
  11. Johann Sebastian Bach II
  12. Bulldozer
  13. Jockstrap
  14. Junior the Eggplant
  15. Sixteen
  16. Blogger H

Friday, October 7, 2016

Warm Bloods versus Cold Bloods

Up until quite recently I thought that all horses were mammals. Then I found out about cold blooded horses. Since I've heard so little on this topic, I did a bit of research and wanted to list some facts about cold blooded horses:

• They will kill you in the middle of the night
• They have scales
• Something about getting their body heat from an "ecto" thermas
• They like apples

These few facts really make cold blooded horses stand apart from their sisters and brothers of the other temperament.  Who knew?! Does anyone else know any good facts about cold blooded horses?

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Information for Pilots Studying the Equestrian Arts

Hello Kathy.  I don't have much time, but I wanted to share some interesting diagrams I found that should help you in your piloting skills.

Notice how the arrow clearly shows that you want to go OVER the polls (like G.W. Bush), and not through them (like Bernie).  This applies for both completing your hunter/jumper test, and your piloting license test.  If you crash into the poles with your flight school's Cessna, they will not be handing you a blue ribbon.

More pertinent diagram information:

I like how very clear this diagram is to show that you will be riding a horse through these standards, and not a Cessna 172 Skyhawk.  Also, that the horse is supposed to jump over the poles: I've been to SO MANY horse shows where that instruction is not clear.

And now I leave you with a link to some really good hunter jumper information.