Thursday, August 2, 2018

The "Counter-Canter"

A horse is a horse-person's best friend. We all know this universal truth (sorry not sorry dear significant others). Being the best friends they are, and being that best friends also have tax liabilities, horses should count as their own taxable entities, which makes them people. And how do people best get to know each other? FOOD!

Thusly, I was overjoyed to learn today about the practice of inviting our horses into the kitchen to partake in the culinary experience of friendship.

Since horses haven't grown opposable hooves since my last blog post, they don't have much to offer in the kitchen. However, the time-honored "counter-canter" is one of the best ways they have been able to serve humanity.

Horses tend to be on the larger size, at least when compared to their human counterparts, so there isn't usually much floor space in the kitchen for them to work. That's why some genius in 1642 suggested that horses be relegated to the kitchen counter. Once atop the counter, there is plenty of space for a horse to canter. And let me tell you... horses and their counter-canter have been the primary workforce behind the production of pizza dough and squashed wine grapes for the last 376 years.

This alone explains why they are our best friends.