Did you miss my blogposts about Blogger Meetup #5 and #6? Same here. But today we are blessed with my account of #7. (Stay tuned to miss Meetups #8-11!)
The best part was getting to meet yet another long-time Blogger! I had heard many tales, and borne witness to many hilarious groups texts, yet had not met Kathy in the flesh. I promptly arrived at her house after missing dinner and missing the first hour of FEITV due to my newfound dedication to the best equestrian sport: prancing.
Often incorrectly associated with vaulting, equestrian prancing is the most eXtreme sport that you've probably never heard of.
Here we see an awkward screenshot of Dr. Strange not doing a very good job at prancing. He doesn't look very much like a fancy pony, and he has lost his horse.
I, on the other hand, am VERY good at prancing with ponies:
So basically, I was two hours late to our meetup because I was busily prancing.
When I finally showed face, I was GREATLY OFFENDED that they had ALL been watching pony prancing WITHOUT ME (my therapist is encouraging me to talk openly about my feelings). But it was all good after Kathy brought out some delicious mint cookie ice cream. Thanks Kathy!
Kathy was also with us, visiting from "America's #1 City, 66.6 years running!" according to Satan's Digest, an elite sub-terranian publication that's been going strong for 2 mellinia. That city happens to be San Diego. It was great to see you Kathy!
Kathy, Kathy, and Kathy made up the rest of the group that evening. The centrifuge of experiences shared between so many great minds is really a privilege to be around. For example, Kathy brought up the clever practice of drugging lesson horses instead of properly training them to not buck off small children. Brilliant! A trainer she had once worked for does this every day and the results are perfection – not a single child ever thrown to the ground. Just imagine the confidence that instills in young riders! If I had ridden a doped up horse as a child, it would have taight me the confidence to persevere in my aspirations and never take the easy way out.
One confounding fact I learned from Kathy this evening is that FEI does not allow riders to enjoy performance enhancing drugs. What?! Normally that rule would make sense - Tour de France is all about the rider's performance. But with equestrian sports, the rider just flops about while their horse does all the hard work. Trust me on that, I would know. So it doesn't really matter if we riders take performance enhancing drugs because we don't actually perform! Rules are dumb.
Speaking of rules, I should take a moment to precisely explain the precarious sport of prancing. Basically, a repugnant peasant places your pony on a clothes line and pivots him or her around in a pretty prancing approximation of a parabola. You then prance into the paddock like you're a pretty pony, and pursue your pretty pony as if to proclaim that you are the prettier pony. (Get "all up" in its pretty face like you're juding its haircut - that has the propensity to please the panel of prancing judges.) This whole thing is primarily a pretty pony prance-off. The judges then assess the prettiest prancing, and place a prize ribbon on the pranciest pony, which, of course, is me.
Oh... Kathy, I forgot to ask while we were all together... can you help me assess how many dapples this horse has? Asking for a friend.
You certainly prance like a pro. I can tell you've been practicing
ReplyDeleteThank you! Yes, the practice has been #1 in my life for quite some time. I'm glad you can see my growth. I prance for at least 6 hours a day, but I might need to really up my work ethic.
DeleteThanks for trapping those peasants for me! I wouldn't have enough of them for all the practice I do without your constant influx of repugnant resources.
ReplyDelete